Sunday, 4 May 2014

My Boyfriend's Ex

I think we all understand that feeling of hate and jealousy of your boyfriend's ex, for no reason at all really. Up until now, I haven't really thought about it but because I have my boyfriend's ex's friends on my Facebook (before I even knew my boyfriend or his ex)and his ex added and spoke to him the other day on Facebook, I've noticed her more.

Despite his other ex's being a lot more attractive than his last ex and me, I have more of a fascination with her because she was with him the longest - she left more of an impression on him. However, I only just found out that he said if he had to pick the top two, he'd pick me and the one who added me on Facebook, so not his last one! I really don't know why his ex added me though, she doesn't even speak to me, never has.

Something about her knowing people who went to my school, one of which decided to hate me, seems to hit a nerve for some reason. It's weird to think that I met the girl who hated me when I was with my first ex like 3 years before I met my current boyfriend. The last thing I would've thought is that she knew the future (then) girlfriend of my future soulmate. It's so weird to think that. It's such a small world.

I could have a problem with the fact that these people are still friends with my boyfriend and friends with me. I believe they had been before him and his ex got together and they were Facebook friends with me before me and him even met. I thought about how the people on my Facebook could be informing my boyfriend's ex of what me and him are doing all the time - a sneaky way of keeping track of us and our relationship. His ex did add him to be nosy and she was honest about that, but was soon defriended.

There is just something about ex's which makes you drawn to them. You compare yourself so much to them though I feel like I'm an upgrade compared to his last ex which is pretty shocking because I have quite a low self esteem. Whenever her friends post pictures, I'm always drawn to look at them and see his ex - to see if she looks happy or sad usually.

4 comments:

  1. Hi, this is Slategraycat from reddit, not sure if you know who that even is but oh well. I have been meaning to start reading your blog all morning but I got caught up with some other things.
    Anyway, I just had to comment on this post, because I totally know how this feels, I have had many occasions where I flat out start hating my boyfriends ex's, even if they are nice or even if I don't know them, just because at one point in his life, my boyfriend was happy with them. I try not to feel that way, but sometimes I can't help it, especially when they are prettier or better than me in some way.
    What I have found in the past that makes me feel a little better, is to let them add me on facebook or twitter and then continuously make little remarks in posts about how happy I am or how happy we are together, because then when they snoop, which they always will eventually, they will slowly start to realize that there is no way that they could ever worm their way back into his life. I know this sounds sort of bitchy to do, but it really does help, just to know that they are reading about how great things are for me. It makes me a lot less jealous towards them.
    Of course, none of this is applicable to me anymore since my last boyfriend and I called it quits, but I still like to occasionally make posts about how happy I am or how I am still friends with my ex and they aren't. Little things like that.

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  2. The Thoughts Of One5 May 2014 at 11:47

    I do remember you, don't worry. That's exactly how I feel. I also want them to add or follow me just for that reason and for me to snoop on them back of course! Just today, I honestly thought his ex added me on snapchat but that wasn't the case. I don't know how to make them add/follow me though. I did add his ex after she added him but she ignored me, whereas other ex's of his have added me almost immediately and without starting conversation. I almost get excited when an ex does something - it's the most drama in my life I've had for years and it's drama I have the right to fully control, which sounds terrible but it's true. It's a weird phenomenon we probably will never fully understand though.

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    Replies
    1. That is exactly why I do it too. My life is pretty boring, but ex's always add drama and it's fun to watch sometimes, when it doesn't affect me anyway.

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