Friday, 26 September 2014

My tattoo

I got my first tattoo yesterday! It's only a small one on the inside of my wrist representing me and my mother and our close relationship. The figurines are intertwined like an infinity sign. It's really sweet but of course, that's not the response I received from my own family. Before I got the tattoo, my brother and father said that women with tattoos are trashy and my father said that I'll end up on Jeremy Kyle because of one small tattoo - that's how pathetic my father is. According to my brother, my own grampy insulted it which makes me glad I didn't go out to show him when he went past.

The evening I got it, my mum warned me (though she didn't have to) that my brother will most definitely insult it and that he did. He could see what it was and what it meant, yet he said everything but what it was to insult it. I ignored him but this morning my dad got in on the action and started insulting it. I felt like crying. Both my father and brother were bouncing insults back and forth at me whilst I remained silent. When I went to work experience, I just wanted to cry and it didn't help that my boyfriend upset me yesterday by belittling me in front of my mother and friend. It doesn't help that my mum has permanent hawk eyes on guys I date after my last abusive relationship. I could tell she wasn't happy with what he was saying.

My dad wonders why I only got a tattoo for my mum and not him. Maybe it's because he's suck a childish, dickhead to me all the time. Maybe it's because he has no idea what's going on in my life and never supports me in anything. Maybe because I feel my mum is my only parent because she shows her love and respect for me; she's there for me all the time and knows exactly what's going on in my life. Maybe because my mother is the best person ever and he's a complete waste of space. My father is just a sperm donor to me who also helped create a devil child (my brother).

Can I ever have a supportive, kind family? Ugh.

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