Monday, 22 December 2014

Back On Track

I can't believe I'm saying this but my relationship seems to be getting back on track. I'm starting to feel how I used to feel, I've started to crave our naked cuddles and his touch, I look forward to seeing him, our sex life has improved, I've started blushing around him again and our conversations are better. I don't know how this has happened, I guess my mental block has calmed down a bit and it's allowing me to feel things again. We did have a good discussion about everything that's wrong in our relationship not long ago which may have helped me get closure on things. We openly discussed what we'd do if we broke up and I didn't like the idea of losing him forever, being at friends only level and seeing him with someone new.

I'm enjoying the relationship and I can tell he's happier about things now. Let's hope this works out!

Monday, 8 December 2014

I shouldn't have introduced him to Snapchat

As the title indicates, I introduced my boyfriend to snapchat. He didn't use it a whole lot to begin with but now he uses it all the time to make jokes with his guy friends which doesn't bother me (aside from him being on his phone a lot). I soon found he had his female best friend on it which didn't bother me that much. However, when I click on his name, she was once third in the list, now she's first which means he's sending snaps to her more than his male friends. Now this concerns me. I also saw he had blocked a couple of people, one of which was the girl we had argued a lot about because he wouldn't stop talking to. I believe it was only a few months ago that I made him aware of snapchat, he had supposedly stopped talking to her way before then so why would he have blocked her on snapchat? He said he's had snapchat for longer than a few months.

I'd like to think that I'm being paranoid again (I hate it), but things never seem to add up with my boyfriend. I usually feel gullible, like he's playing a game that he knows too well but he's acting innocent and what woman wants to be messed about by a younger lad?

Monday, 1 December 2014

Rest In Peace

My dog was euthanized at 6:40pm this evening, aged 17 years old. She was definitely a fighter, that's probably why it felt so wrong to take her life away but today it was clear, she didn't have much of a life. She hadn't eaten for days and her last walk was a couple of months ago, she could barely walk or stand in her last weeks. I spent all day today, trying my best to comfort her but being blind, deaf and arthritic, there wasn't much I could do. I searched frantically online for advice on making a dying dog as comfortable as possible and all said about hugging the animal as well as talking to them - I could do neither. I did have her on my lap for a bit but she eventually became restless so I placed her gently on her bed. We believed that she was also having minor seizures whilst being confused and barking. How can you comfort a blind, deaf, arthritic dog who's having seizures? Websites don't consider things like that.
This time is always so painful for us pet owners, I don't know why we put ourselves through it. I feel so emotionally drained, I've been crying all day causing myself a tension headache, the whole family is feeling it. We keep looking at her corpse wishing she'd wake up and our minds are making us believe she's moving/breathing. She looks so peaceful though.

She will always be in our hearts, just like her sister. RIP <3